Do you often feel anxious and insecure in your relationships? Do you find yourself constantly seeking reassurance from your partner? If so, you may have an anxious attachment style. Anxious attachment is a form of attachment style that affects the way we relate to others.
Attachment styles are based on our early experiences with caregivers. If we had a parent or caregiver who was warm and responsive to our needs, we are likely to develop a secure attachment style. However, if our caregiver was sometimes unavailable or unresponsive, we may develop an anxious attachment style.
People with anxious attachments often feel insecure and anxious in their relationships. They may seek excessive reassurance from their partners and have difficulty trusting them. They may also be overly dependent on their partners.
Here are some signs you may have an anxious attachment style:
- Feeling anxious and insecure in your relationships
- Seeking excessive reassurance from your partner
- Having difficulty trusting your partner
- Being preoccupied with your relationship
- Feeling jealous or possessive of your partner
- Having a fear of abandonment or rejection
- Engaging in ‘clingy’ or ‘needy’ behavior
- Having difficulty being alone
If you can relate to these signs, you may have an anxious attachment style. Fortunately, there are things that you can do to improve your anxious attachment style. In this blog post, we will discuss some tips and strategies that can help you become more secure in your relationships.
Where does an anxious attachment style come from?
An anxious attachment style is often the result of early childhood experiences. If you had a parent or caregiver who was emotionally unavailable, unpredictable, or unreliable, you may have developed an anxious attachment style. This is because you didn’t have a secure base to return to when you were feeling anxious or upset. As a result, you may have developed anxious attachments in your other relationships.
How can I improve my anxious attachment style?
If you have an anxious attachment style, there are things that you can do to become more secure in your relationships. Here are some tips and strategies:
Work on building trust. One of the most important things you can do to improve your anxious attachment style is to work on building trust. This means being honest and transparent with your partner. It also means giving them the space to be their own person (and for you to do the same).
Communicate openly and honestly. Another important thing you can do to improve your anxious attachment style is to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. This means sharing your feelings and needs with them. It also means being open to hearing their thoughts and feelings.
Practice self-care. An important part of improving your anxious attachment style is to practice self-care. This means taking care of yourself emotionally and physically. It also means setting boundaries in your relationships.
Work on building self-confidence/self-esteem. This can be done by practicing positive self-talk, setting realistic goals, and accepting yourself for who you are.
Practice relaxation techniques. This can help you to manage your anxiety and stress. Some relaxation techniques that you can try include deep breathing, yoga, and meditation.
Challenge your negative thoughts about yourself and your relationships. Are these thoughts accurate or helpful? Consider the evidence for and against negative thoughts. The goal is to try to reach a more accurate and balanced view of yourself and your relationships.
Practice mindfulness and live in the present moment. This can help you focus on the here and now instead of worrying about the future. Mindfulness involves paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment.
Seek professional help if needed. If you find that you are struggling to improve your anxious attachment style on your own, therapy can be very beneficial.
An anxious attachment style can be difficult to manage, but there are things that you can do to improve it. By working on your self-confidence, challenging your negative thoughts, and practicing mindfulness and other coping strategies you can start to feel more secure in your relationships.
Remember, it takes time and effort to change your attachment style. But with patience and perseverance, you can develop more secure attachments in your relationships.
If you find that you are struggling to improve your anxious attachment style and would like some support feel free to contact me for a free consultation.